What kinky fantasies?

Slave.
What kinky fantasies do you have?

You tell me, and I'll tell you another of mine!

She misses me

School started. I'm back in a classroom for the first time in 10 years. I looked at my calendar and realized I will be in that classroom til summer 2008. Can i really do this? Will everyone discover I don't deserver to be here? When will they find out I'm an idiot?
Well so far so good, no one has discovered me yet!
But there is a lot of work piling up already. I've already spent this week reading, then I didn't get to see Knottygirl at all yesterday. This morning she woke me up with toast and orange juice, served in bed. We cuddled, and she kept saying that she missed me.

I miss her too. We've been busy, bodies have been unwell, schedules chaotic, more work loads, we haven't had a chance to connect. I get the feeling that she wants to play this weekend. I think perhaps we'll do a fashion shoot. I want her all made up and posable. My little bendy girl. She needs to feel pretty. I want her to feel pretty.

I can at least promise to make her feel loved.

It's a wierd transition to play. Is a it a switch to flick on suddenly? A tease and slow build up? i know she likes the attention, the imagination. But I don't know if she loves the kink. I think she does, but does she need the kink? I don't think she does yet.

I can wallow in self pity, not many know about it, cause it's one of many conversations that stays between myself in my head. So I can complicate matters pretty quickly within myself. I'm trying not to here. I've been reading other blogs, there tends to be quite a lot from the subs perspective. I am getting some insight into their thought process. Seems that true subs crave, want, need the play. I hesitate. It certainly is thrilling to think of Knottygirl becoming like that. But it scares me too. Two places at once. I can't have both can I? Shit.

Yeah I'm a wishy-washy Dom. Fuck.
I miss her too.

Guests over

Last night we had some very good friends over for dinner and a movie. Slave came out of the bedroom with makeup on, first time in a few years. She looked good. She then proceeded to kiss me to try and get her lipstick all over my lips. Satisfied with the result, she went about getting dinner ready for our friends.

Discovering we were out of Brownie mix, she sent me off to the grocery store to pick up some last minute supplies. As I was leaving, I looked at her and said, "I want something before I go."
She smiled and started to raise her shirt.
I shook my head.
She turned around and went to lower her jeans to show me her markings.
No not that.
We went into the bedroom, where she then tried to take her clothes off.
No.
"With your makeup on and lipstick, I wanna see that mouth wrapped around my cock."
She smiled and dropped to her knees while I dropped my trousers.
Pornstar moment! We didn't have time to finish so I left to get the brownies with a set of blueballs.
The dinner went off well. At one point I brought out our little toy chest, paraded it in front of our friends, to the shock, horror and concern of my slave, only to place it on the floor to be used as a laptop stand.
She did call me master once while they were over. I told her to take her plate of chicken, with perhaps a bit of the Master voice. She immeadiatley switched into slave mode, and it rolled out. We're not sure if they noticed!

Sharpie's

Knottygirl mentioned going to the Arts and Crafts store to try and look for some stencils and some skin based markers to draw on her. Well we found nothing there, unless you count a butterfly pattern, which was pretty lame and out of tone with our play. We did double check that Sharpie's are non-toxic!

Today I showered her some pics I found of a little punk slave girl whose master had written all over her body. She had piercings and a leash as well. The writting was a bit crude with some "fuck" and "slut" all over her, which Knottygirl didn't seem to interested in, but as she was leaning over my desk checking out the pictures, she wiggled her ass in my face and asked Master if he would like to draw on slave's ass. I accepted!

I appologised to slave for not being a good master lately, work has been busy for both of us, so I sepnt the afternoon, paying attention to slave and her ass. She misses her spankings!

Spanked!

Kottygirl's roughest spanking yet!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Things have been busy, work wise for us. I do want to wish my special knottygirl a very Happy Valentine's Day. I'm at work thinking of her!

The way to wake up

This morning, right at 7:00am, I felt the presence of the misses. The night before, on the ride home, she really pushed my buttons. She kept messing with me, and I tried to stay calm and give her some warnings. HA! She just laughed and kept messing with me.
"Oh! So Scared!" she mocked.
Started calling me a pussy.
It was all fun, throughout our lives together we have messed with each other. This time, though I wasn't quite sure how to react. I realized that she was being playful, and I kinda didn't feel to dominant at that moment, so my threats of giving her a spanking rang hollow in my voice.
At a certain point, when she wouldn't stop I felt angry. Dangerous angry. Really, really pissed off. When that happens I get quiet.
She sensed my mood change and stopped messing with me, and asked me if i was ok. I really didn't answer. I wasn't ok, or at least let me say, I didn't know what I felt.
Women get frustrated with men because we don't tell them how we feel.
NEWSFLASH: A lot of times we don't know how the fuck we feel!
I had a mixture of emotions, mostly rage, but I had no real idea where that rage was coming from. I go silent, when I get angry, because I know that when I'm in a mood, I can say some pretty hurtful things. Strike that, I can be very fucking viscious, coldhearted, cruel and vindictive. Any weakness a person has shown over the ENTIRE time I have known them can and has been brought back into their faces when I strike out verbally.
The result: crushing, devestating, humiliating, and sometimes irrepairable.
So I stay quiet.
So why was I pissed?
Well I thought because she was ignoring me as her master and acting uppity and bratty. But truth be told, I didn't mind her play. Certainly it wasn't outrageous enough to warrant the anger I had.

We came home, it was quiet.
I went to change out of my work clothes she went to the bedroom and did the same.
Moments later she came to me dressed only in a black string thong.
So the anger subsided.
We went back to the bedroom , where she presented her ass for punishment.
This time I warmed her cheeks. Wehn done I had to take a picture of her reddened ass (first time!).

I told her afterwards that I had a mix of emotions, I didn't know how to react to her teasing in the car. We hugged, settled the issue.

7:00am this morning I opened my eyes to Knottygirl kneeling beside me on the floor.
"Good morning, Master!" she said and kissed me.
"What are you doing?" I asked, eyes barely able to focus.
"Serving Master! It's 7:00, and you ordered me to be kneeling next to you when you wake up!"
I kissed her again, my cock hardening. A conflict of logic. Last night she gave off a stuborn vibe, this morning, she's serving Master with a smile on her face and a warm wetness growing in her.

I told her to get up. She did and kissed me and then disappeared out of the room, leaving me to awaken and get my eyes in focus.
Next thing I know, slave brings into the bedroom to me and plate and cup. Toast cut up into tiny sailboats and a fresh class of Tangerine juice. She served me breakfast, and after handing me the plate, sank back down to the floor on her knees.

A bit in shock, I thanked slave. Then I asked her to join me in bed, where I proceeded to hand feed her between my own bits of the toast.
Each swallow was followed by a "Thank you Master!" from her.
The tv stayed off, the remote cold and lonely as we ate in the morning solitude.

The entire time my cock was pitching a tent under the blanket.
After we ate, she cleared the dishes at my request and I then told her to hurry up get ready for work so that I could buy her a cup of coffee without us being late. Before she got dressed I had to have a little attention paid to my cock, he was hard as steel and would not allow me to get my pants on until he had some loving attention of his own.
She kissed him, then sensing that I was looking for more than a kiss, changed positions and offered her warm pussy to me. I clambored on top of her and slowly worked my monster into her.
My bladder was full and it was too long before the pressure of the thrusting was too much to handle. I pulled out and on a spur of the moment decided to reward my little slave for her behavior this morning.
Dropping down to her crotch I gently flicked my tongue over her lips and found her clit. Her body tensed in a good way, she generally doesn't like clit stimulation, again too sensitive like her nipples, but I was determined to be gentle on her and get her blood pumping this morning.
Grabbing on hand and using my other to slip under her and tightly clench her ass cheek, I worked away on her. Between juicy breaths I reminded slave of the rule; she needed to ask for permission to cum.
"What's the rule?" I asked.
"I have to..."
"What is it?"
She moaned again. "I have to..."
She was lost, she knew what the rule was but couldn't wrap her mind around verbalizing it. I went easy on her and didn't force her to tell me.
"You have to ask permission!" I finished.
"Yes..." was all she managed to get out.
Soon she moaned out, "Oh Master...can I cum????"
Her body was sprung tight, all her muscles clentched.
"Cum for me slave!" I ordered, as I continued to work her clit.
She exploded.
I crawled back ontop of her, inserted my still hard cock in her, and held her as she came down. "That's a good reward for serving me this morning! Might make you want to do that more often!"
She smiled.
We looked at the clock and realized, that not only were we going to be late, but that I wasn't going to be buying her a coffee this morning!

Updates

We've settled into a rythm of late. Being busy with some socializing, had someone over for the evening last night, as well as work and sickness, we haven't played much. Kottygirls ass is still a prime target for me, and this morning she gave back to me in the form of a few swats from her hand. I decided to let her get away with it, she was more playful than bratty, seeing that the evening before, she tried to spank me and wound up stinging her hand instead, then she had to endure a spanking of her own. Her ass and hand stung afterwards so I think she is a bit hesitant to try that again!

We axiously awaiting some orders to arrive by post. Nothing new has come. We have both become more comfortable in our Master/slave roles. I'm happy to report that I have not once ordered her to wash the dishes! She has been cooking more often, I think subliminally she is trying to take care of her Master a bit more. The attention is greatly appreciated. we had a talk about the little things. I read to her some stories of other couples that share a small little act between them as a symbolic gesture of their play and relationship. One wife has her husband hold her wrist instead of her hand when they go out together. Most people don't notice, but to them it signifies his control over her. Another wife with children sits or kneels beside her husband who is on the couch when they're in the living room. The children are still young so they all gravitate to the floor and do activites that way. We tired the wrist thing, and I missed the intimacy of her hand, our fingers playing with each other and the gentle reminding squeezes we use to comunicate that we're thinking of each other. She agreed and found that the postion was awkward and painful.

Knottygirl did mention that she inquired about belly and nipple piercings from a friend. I'm not sure how serious she is about it, but just thinking about it got me hard. During our last discussion about this, she had quickly followed it up with the cld reality that while thinking about it is sexy and erotic and a turn on, for both of us, actually following through and doing it might not be. In otherwords, think about it, I'll tease you about it, but when it comes down to it, I'm not doing it! Quite frankly, I happy with us even having a conversation like this at this stage. I'm not pushing anything, in fact the nipple rings were her idea. Where ever she wants to take this, I'll support her decisions.

So with another wasted weekend looming ahead, I have to work, and the frustration of slave being sick last weekend, I've been taking care of myself again. Pisses me off. I've been so turned on by her lately that not having her has backed me up a bit too much. But I have to control myself so that we can enjoy Valentine's Day. No plans other than some intimacy. I hate Valentine's Day. A manufactured holiday for stores and restaurants to get some sales.

Blown wad

A new month a new paycheck. We went outfit shopping for Knottygirl.
February has Valentine's Day and here were many sales going on. How Convienent! Kottygirl was on a mission, she had already been behind on her task to get something scandalous for wear under her normal clothes so now that she had the opportunity, she became quite picky in try to find something that she felt comfortable with but that I would find pleasing and sexy. She managed to zero in on some nice lacy thongs. They were sexy and on sale(bonus!) so she purchased a number of those. I eyed a nice red and black corset outfit, and slave went about piecing together the out fit with all the accessories that would fit her size. We wound up going to three stores to get everything, but afterwards we were both satisfied with the booty we had plundered!

We both are getting excited by taking pictures of her. She's becoming my little model, and if it weren't for the fact that the poor doggy was home waiting to be let out, we would have shopped for some make up for her.

I'm not to big into makeup, my slave looks fine wthout it, but every once in a while it would be nice if she got done up, whore it up a bit, girly it up a bit. I would love to she her slick glossed lips wrapped around my cock, with darkened eyes. Plus we need the makeup for the photo session.
But alas, no make up shopping for her that evening. I told her to think about what she would need, colorwise as well as type, so that she could pick everything up at a later date without spending an hour, going, "What do you think?"

We got home and she promptly tried on the outfits. HOT!
Even though she never wore thongs before, she admitted after trying them on that they seemed ok to her. I got terribly turned on seeing her from behind, her jeans dropped a few inches revealing her red lacey thong and her SPANKABLE ass cheecks! Less material, less protection from my hand!

Unfortunatley, she's been under the weather so she was not up to any play this weekend, leaving her Master hard and frustrated. We had a busy weekend going out with friends, and each time we went out, she put on a lacey thong without any prompting by me. She has learned well! She then told me that they felt good, so I'm looking forward to her wearing them on a more regular basis. She agreed with the caveat that we would have to purchase more of them if that was what I wanted, somehow I think she just manipulated me into agreeing to do more clothes shopping for her...