Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Resurfacing

Outside forces rocked me and my Masterly ways. It's been over a month and I am just now beginning to move back into M/s interest. Knottygirl, my slave has tried to be understanding while I have tried to work through issues that were not part of our relationship. During that time, my need of her as my supportive caring wife outgrew the need for her to be my submissive slave.

Things seem to be getting better, there is light at the end of the tunnel and with that new found hope and optimism, I am relieved to find that this wasn't just a fad, an interest that lingered till I became bored and moved onto something else.

There are times of frustration when I wish I could smash my foot on the accelerator and instantly catapult us into 24/7 Master/slave groveling, whipping, bondage and leather lifestyle. I know she isn't ready for that, and I found I'm not either. Our power dynamic is such that I am the dominant of the two, I have the final decision in all things, but she is just a valuable to our relationship and marriage as I am. She is the yang, to my ying-or the other way around?

I don't know if it is PC in BDSM circles to call her my partner, but she is. She is a hundred other things as my mood strikes me, my slave, my sub, my little girl, my slut, my fucktoy, my wife, my friend, but above all else she is my partner, the one I Chose to spend my life with. For that I'm very lucky and fortunate to have her give herself to me. And I might add, she damn lucky to have me!

Last night, I grabbed her from behind, spun her around and looked down into her face, locking eyes, I told her her Master has returned. The change in he face was subtle, but I read it as relief and joy and an "It's about fucking time!" look from her eyes!

I still remember her desire for training, more rules, and strictness. That part of me has been away for too long!