Past a year!

Well a lot has happened over the past year. Just a quick update, grad school is going well, our bills are all paid off, so mortgage, loan and utilities are all we have to pay and that has taken a hug amount of stress off us, and we have been moving forward with D/s.

We spoke with each other and both agree that we are enjoying the new dynamic of our relationship. I think we have a little different idea as to what to call it. I don't quite think we are 24/7 Master/collared slave, as there is wiggle room for her to "time out" of the situation. I'm sure she is under the impression that we are, and that the so called "wiggle room" is just me not being "dom-ly" enough and holding firm on my convictions.

But despite, our two levels of what a collared slave is, we are patiently working towards an ideal. What that is, in my mind, is a little more concrete than what is in hers. But hey, she's the slave and shouldn't know all the twists and turns in the road ahead, now should she?

Some of the self-censoring on my part is to try and slowly build up the ideas and visualizations of what my turn ons are, that I have been exposed to for quite sometime, while she has never even known that that was viable, or that people did those things. It's more that throwing her into the hard-core deep end of BDSM will freak her out and close her up more than slowly guiding her towards the freak that is me!

One of the best mantras to chant is "patience" and it's true. I'm not trying to turn her into my perfect idea of a slave overnight, I'm not in that much of a hurry, after all we have the rest of our lives together!

This year will be another advancement of her slavery to me. We will grow together. Now that I have been unleashed, there's no putting me back to vanilla land! To be fair, she has been enjoying all of this as well. Communication has always been good. She is enjoying the spice in our intimacy, and enjoys all the attention she is getting from me!

Almost a year!

The holidays are coming, are they already here?, and I am reflecting un the fact that it's been almost a full year since I dropped the Master bomb on lil' knottygirl. We went from a stagnant marriage where the passion was almost all gone, to a year of intense passion and thoughts of each other more often than not.

What started off as an experiment, has turned into a lifestyle, more or less, with me as the Master as knottygirl as my slave. The bonus was how much she enjoys it. So upon reflection, I couldn't be happier with the turn of events, and we both have worked very hard to get where we are now. I wouldn't say we are 24/7, but we are past the point of session play. Now as a new year approaches and our new anniversary approaches, I'm doing some reflection and thinking of where I want things to go from here.

We have had fun buying many toys and books, reference, outfits, etc. but due to our schedules we haven't had enough time to really utilize them. So we are going to set aside time to read all the books we have ordered, discuss them and learn from the parts we like to enhace our lifestyle.

I mentioned that we are not 24/7. That is not to say that aspects of that are appealing, but I'm not sure if it can fit in. However, we will be pushing things more. She has ammased quite a collection of collars, from her anniversary necklace, to the medievil locking collar to a cute black patent leather dog collar, knottygirl will be required to wear her collar more often for my pleasure and to remind her that she is mine. The calling of my title must also be reinforced. I simply love to hear her calling me Master and Sir.

Bondage is something we both are excited about, an i must admit I have failed in providing her with more of this play, something that will be explored in this coming year. I also am a fan of partial bondage living, with times where my knottygirl will have some form of bondage applied to her and she has to go about her evening with it, be it cuffed wrists in front of her, a corset and heels, shacked ankles or a hobble skirt, she will be my helpless little bound wench that I can abuse anytime I like.

Oh yes, last year is over and this year is looking better and better!

~Sir~

Spotted in the wild: submissive!

A while ago, I sat on a hiring committee and we interviewed a number of applicants for an assistant position. One of the applicants came in and sat before the table of gathered members, placed her hands in her lap and awaited the interview. She was a bit mousy, plain, late twenties early thirties. As the interview started, there was something about her very being, the way she answered questions, the way she held herself. Very small, sub-ordinate, submissive. Could she be one? That thought gathered momentum in my mind as she watched her and asked her questions. Her answers all pointed to a submissive personality, I won’t go into details, but after she left, the other women on the committee had picked up on it too, that she was really subordinate. Afterwards, while we were discussing her potential, the others commented to me that she appeared really nervous when I spoke and questioned her. Like my words were more direct and commanding. I remember wanting to put her at ease during the process, but maybe subliminally after recognizing what she was I took more command of her and she reacted. Interesting. I really didn’t expect myself to react that way. I didn’t expect myself to subliminally take on more dominate role, but apparently I did.

Wedding Anniversary

Our ten year wedding anniversary is coming up in a month. We are finally taking a vacation, it seems like the last vacation we took was the honeymoon!
We had a discussion on whether to bring our M/s relationship with us on the trip, and celebrate our soon tobe one year anniversary of that relationship as well. We both agreed that the two shouldn't mix, so although we will play, we are celebrating our ten years of commitment to each other in marriage, rather than glossing over that accomplishment by mixing that with the new relationship we have discovered.
We are not 24/7, and although I have some idea where I want to take this, a full 24/7 tpe role doesn't interest her, and for now I'm satisfied with more exploration and discovery. Will our wants and needs change in the future? Of course they will, they always have. But for now, we get to celebrate the fact that we've lived together without killing each other for ten whole years!

How are Master's Made?

This thread over on The Slave Register got me to thinking about how I was made, if you can call me a Master. Quite frankly I only care if one person calls me that and that's Knottygirl. But the just of the thread boils down to the fact that from all my reading and searching for material on M/s relationships, there seems to be an exponentially larger sampling of sub/slave writings than Dom/Master writings. So why is that? We could get all stereotypical here and make a generality that subs are more feminine than doms (so not true, but go with me here for the argument), and that feminine’s have a tendency to internalize more, and an outlet to that could be journaling, diary, blogging, etc.
I think the argument that girls write diaries and journals and boys don't is bullshit to a certain point, it's probably more accurate that girls mature faster and actually examine their emotions more than boys do, and that's a reason for a diary.

But does that explain the ratio of M/s writing perspectives?
Not the feminine aspect. That to me is just an example of a possible way of thinking.
I would like to point out that the original poster of this thread was indeed a slave. So a genuine interest in learning what makes the other side tick, is a valid point.
So there's two questions here; What makes a Master? and Why are they not communicating like the slaves are?

Well here's the answer to it.

We're not gonna let you in on our little secret! LOL!

Actually, I can't speak for the others, cause I don't know them, and I'm one of those types that actually doesn’t like to blog, ok, maybe sorta like to blog!
Ok so let's take at least one answer first.
How was I made?
I can't tell you if I'm a true Master, and in some eyes, I am so not a Master, but that's ok, you can make you're own decisions and judgments, I just liked this question and wanted to answer it. Maybe I'll learn something.
I grew up as the youngest "brother" with two older "sisters" and mother and grandmother. I came from a strong personality dominating family, all women mind you, who were smart business women and smart people. I was used to being bossed around and "lead" around in my early years. To me, this wasn't an issue, since it was pretty much for good and was fun. I was never stubborn or headstrong, kinda mellow and went with the flow. In a big family you have to deal with personalities and changes often and with that many dominant family members, it sat and absorbed as much as possible from them on how to treat others outside the family.

It wasn't pretty. They could be brutal and ruthless. And I learned from them. Now it never was sadistic, it was more a force of personality from our perspective. During my teens I found my niche and started to develop a personality myself. Best described as individual, there were moments of peer pressure and bad decisions like everyone else, but after learning form them I moved on.

I made sure to place myself in positions of authority, based a lot on my upbringing from a family that always had to have an advantage. Team sports were not my thing, I was athletic and could compete in every sport, but to me the team dynamic was something I wasn't interested in. I loved to pitch baseball, hit, play football, basketball, etc., but when it came to organized sports, I had none of that. I guess to me, it was a situation where I would only be a "cog in the wheel" rather than the focus.

As I matured, I gained a better foothold of authority in my family feeling more confident in myself and also took advice and opinions from the others. I have always had a deep respect for women, I never had an issue working for or taking orders from one. Growing up with all the women around me, I had a better understanding on what made them tick, laugh, cry, their interests, their concerns. I was comfortable exchanging with women and had a confidence about it.

I don’t really remember when the fascination with bondage came upon me, but I know that the comics and books I read fed that thirst. By age six I would get a special kind of excitement when I would see Betty and Veronica tied up. I checked out kidnapping story books from the school library, and played “rope” games with my friends.

With my long relationship with Knottygirl, we got into kink. At that time, I wanted to be the sub. I wanted to be tied up, spanked, made to submit. We tried, but there was a disconnect for both of us. In my mind, I figured that it was something that although sounded good on paper and fantasy, in reality, it just didn’t live up to the hype my mind had built it up to be. Eventually, the entire toy collection was thrown out.

But the thrill of seeing a bound woman never left me, and with the internet producing more and more material. My interest was renewed. I examined my life, my relationship, and my personality, and came the conclusion that I’m not a sub. I do enjoy the occasional story of a man submitting to a strong woman, but in my mind that really couldn’t be me. I guess what really stopped me from pursuing this until recently is that I always perceived women as human, feeling individuals. I was too gentle with them. I controlled myself and held back. I was the gentleman.

But I found out that Knottygirl responded to rougher play and more domineering instructions from me. Our sex life became interesting for us. We got out of the rut. I knew then and there, that we were responding to my dominate personality, and I made the decision to lay it all on the line, and tell her that that was what I wanted. We agreed to explore that, and haven’t looked back.

Exposed

We managed to move back into the house after some work was done. One of the worst weeks we've had the pleaseure to spend in quite sometime. Living cooped up in a one room hotel for a week with nothing to do, noise and an uncomfortable bed made us miserable and missing our home sweet home. So a friend of mine was gracious to come over and help me with our gigantor matress and afterwards over some beers we got to do some catching up. This is one of my oldest and best friends. There's a confidence between him and us since he's one of the few that has know us from before we got together and has witnessed our relationship since then, so Knottygirl dropped a subtle hint as to why she souldn't help muchy with the move, then looking at my, I nodded to her to elaborate and she told him that she had gotten pierced.

He was surprised and couldn't believe it, and at the urging of me, she showed him. He was so surprised and asked why she had doen it, and with a straight face she responded, "Because Master wanted it." He mumbled ok, not quite sure if she was pulling his leg or not. We dropped a few hints that things have changed, but wisely he didn't prod much. He kept shaking his head muttering that he never expected Knottygirl to do something like that. It was so out of place from how he thought of her. This thrilled her as she takes great delight in blowing our friends minds (MINDS people! not other things! Get your thoughts out of the gutter, SHEESH!).

He mentioned that he has discussed with his girlfriend about her getting a belly piercing to no avail. Now armed with this new information he was going to try to talk to her again about it. He said he was gonna tell her about seeing Knottygirls piercings, he said she would get a kick out of it! Hmmmm, I wonder if Knottygirl will be showing her in person?

We also discussed doig Burningman next year. We have another couple that invited us and I figured with this new invite we might have enough people together that we would feel comfrotable going. Up until now, Knottygirl has had ZERO interest in attending. So I was always faced witht he task of attend by myslef if I really wanted to go. Now she's wrangled invites for us. My how things change. She's also interested in learning Belly dancing. I'm all for it! LOL!

Formality?

Knottygirl is recovering fine from her piercings. She is diligently cleaning them morning and evening. Though she still needs heavy painkillers, thanks to the fact that we keep painkillers from other maladies on hand for times like this, I am enthusiastic about her recovery. Personally I thought I would have to stay away from her for a couple of weeks, but the act of getting them pierced for my pleasure and the looks of lust within my eyes as I examine her constantly hard nipples, has made her reconsider! I'm very happy that she did the deed, but more so, I'm happy that she's happy about doing it.

Things have progressed back into the scene for us lately, culminating with the piercing and it leads me to think as to what happens next? Each Master is different, each sub is as well. I've been happy with the progression this year, we've far surpassed where I thought we would be and although we have been busy, that spark in her eyes when I push her and she replies "Yes, Master" reinforces that she hasn't tired of this.

I've read a fabulous story the past week, called "Tired of being a nice guy" that had me absolutely riveted. The characters came alive and a simple story a couple exploring a new lifestyle turned into an epic page-turner(ok screen-scroller!) that left me still thinking about those characters. The question that has crept into my perverted little head of late is slave accepting ceremony. Call it a collaring ceremony, a marking ceremony, whatever, the question bouncing around in my warped mind is do we want one, what does that imply, do we need one, is it too soon? Ok so multiple questions, but a lot tend to bounce around in my head at any given nano-second of time.

The piercing was a momentous moment. Knottygirl waffled between no interest in getting one to wanting one, to no way was he ever getting one, to if Master wants, etc., etc., etc. With the support of friends she went out and got it. She had her reasons, and I'm glad she did it for herself as well as for me, however I do regret a bit that I wasn't there for her when she did it. In the one sense, this was a step for her to really show her friends that our relationship has changed, they are the only ones who know of our blogs and that she has confided in. They supported her and I think she's gained some strength from that.

It got me to thinking whether the two of us need to celebrate a milestone in this relationship dynamic. On the one hand it would cement the relationship, a kind of "no turning back" type of milestone, a commitment to each other to "own" and "be owned". But haven't we already done that with our wedding vows almost ten years ago? And that's what has me thinking. In a few months we will be celebrating our ten year anniversary. That is a milestone.

Now is that something outside of this D/s scene we are enjoying? Would rolling a collaring ceremony cheapen our wedding anniversary? Would it conflict? Or is it a logical progression of our relationship? To me, we are playing. We use the word slave and Master when we remember and when we are turned on. We also use other terms for each other and treat each other like equals. That's ok. I always told her that this would not be something that I would use to get her to do the dishes and scrub the floors.

So am I a true Master? Is Knottygirl a true slave? Again it’s what we make of it. Your definition of Master is different from mine. I find myself questioning if our use of the term is still acceptable between each other.

There are times where I still wait for her to initiate sex. There are times when I want it but don’t initiate it. Then there are times when I do and she might not be into it, but complies, accepting it by saying “Whatever Master wants, or Master can do as he pleases.” Those are times when she is not too into it, but when I check with her to see if she’s ok or into it, she responds like so. In her mind, has she already made that sacrifice? Am I so dense that I’m questioning “ownership” when she has already given it to me? If that’s the case then perhaps I’m not pushing her as much as she wants, or needs?

There is talk, just talk right now of a more permanent mark on her. We have continued the sharpie art for sometime, with her more than willing to take my mark. The piercings has been the most drastic, and I wonder if she will take a tattoo for me…

So I ask again. Has the ceremony been performed and I just haven’t taken things far enough to push her? Or should a discussion of a ceremony be brought up?

PIERCED!

She did it!
Now I can't touch her for a while...she actually threatened me! LOL!

Piercings

Tonight, Knottygirl is getting her nipples pierced. Or so she says! I asked her why she was getting them pierced. Her answer: "Because she wants to." Good answer. Then she added: "Because Master would like it." Another good answer and both in the appropriate order!

She asked if I required anything else, while she was there. Hmmmmm...
At this point no, but after all the temporary markings on her body I have given her, I think Master's Permanent Mark might happen in the future... we'll see if she wimps out on the piercings!

I did request that when she see's me tonight, that she greets me "properly"!

Bondage Bracelet?

Ok I've read a few stories that have this supposed item given to their slaves called somethng like a bondage bracelet. Basically it's two mathing jewellery bracelets with a little built in device that allows the master to take his slaves arms an join the two bracelets together effectively binding the slaves wrists together. The jewellery should be ornamental looking like a bracelet, not like a gothic cuff with hoops and and clips. However I can't find anyplace online that has something like this.


The closest I found was http://www.eternitycollars.com/steelcart.htm
but they don't actually have a locking mechanism... any ideas? Perhaps I'll have to have them custom made...hmmmm maybe a new market here...

New Mark

Knottygirl has been a bit randy lately. She's sick, I gave her my cold, whereas I recovered before it became a full blown cold, she hasn't. She's pissed at me for that!
So the other day she mentioned that I hadn't marked her lately. I pointed out that she was supposed to be hitting the gym and i hadn't been drawing my marks on her becasue fo the fact that she would be changing and showering in the locker room with others.
Well, the randiness got to me, so after working on my paper, and thinking of her, and brought the sharpies into the room, instructed her to get naked, while I shut off the tv and computer, and had her lay face down on the bed. I proceeded to draw a little shamrock on her back shoulder, my cock stiff and hard just sitting in front of her face as I marked her, she tickled my cock, lightly kissed it then drew it in and gave me a slurping blowjob, while I finished my mark.
I took her afterwards until both of us were exhausted from the heat and lack of air circulation. It's been a long time in coming. No rough stuff, although my cock is a bit too large for her and I went a little too deep once.

Things...

Things have been complicated lately. No play to report, sorry to say. We've had some real life issues todeal with that I'm happy to report are being concluded. The good news is that things are changing for the better, which is rally nice.

I'm fully into school right now and barring winning the lottery I should be busy writting reports, papers and presentation for another year and a half.

I hope we kick things up a bit soon, the loads that have been on our minds have been taken off so perhaps we'll be able to devote some energy to her serving me!

No news

Not much going on right now, very busy.
Work, school, vanilla life. To be continued...

New Mark

Master's Mark

Knottygirl reminded me that her Master's mark had disappeared and that it was time for me to apply a new mark on her. Look closely, I think you can pull out the Knottygirl in there!

PS: This weekend Knottygirl will be giving me another fashion show! She finally received her corset that we ordered so I'm anxious to see her all dolled up. Makeup as well! Time for my slave to kneel before her Master and show him that she's worth his energy and training, and all the toys he has purchsed for her. Master got them because slave promised she would use them, time to put that to the test!

Knottygirl Better

Well she's finally gotten better. She did get bitten by another one of our cats,but no swelling, no infection. Sheesh!
Pains gone and she finally is feeling a little more sexy.
We've been away from it for quite sometime, so it's a bit awkward right now, drugs are still getting worked out of her body and our dynamic isn't quite what it used to be. Don't know if it will ever go back to that, things change, people change, that's the only constant.

I'm very happy she's better, that was scary.

Requirement

Toying with the idea of requiring slave to have Master's mark on her all the time. When it wears off, she will either have to reapply it to her body, or she will have to kneel before me and beg her Master to apply his mark to her...

Not sure yet...

She seems to like pointing out my Mark on her...

Ben Wah

Know anything about Ben Wah Balls?
The thought came to mind today. Maybe slave should wear some around the house. Might be interesting...

I'm starting to feel evil again!

When to be "Just Hubby"

We are not 24/7.
We play when we are in the mood. Sometimes I will drop a word or two and she will pick up on it and get into the role. Sometimes it's the other way around. I've tried to seperate our roles in play with our roles in ... geez I want to say "normal" life, but that's just not right. Vanilla? I'm not a big fan of that word either. Traditional? Hmmm. Nope not that, but you get my meaning. How about Non-Power-Exchange Dynamic. Too long to type but I digress.

So I have tried to not place a burden on everyday tasks like dishes, cooking, general household stuff that needs to get done. I emphasise needs to get done, not needs to get done with a buttplug up her ass and high heels and a slave collar around her neck.

Now she has been broken for a while, so play has not occured. Sex? With the chemistry going on in her body lately that has not been happening. So there has been a little frustration on my part. Partly because I've been backed up, but MOSTLY because of worry and concern over her health. She on the other hand has been tired, cranky, in pain and irritable.

Well she flipped out last night. Cranky, tired, irritable, all she wanted to do was go to sleep. All I wnated form her was to finish folding the last load of laundry she asked me to bring up. After the 5th prompting from me, she jumped up and flipped out screaming and yelling that all she wanted to do was to get to sleep and for me to stop prompting her to fold the clothes.

So should I drop everything, grab her and pull her over my knee and spank her ass red? Boy a part of me really wanted to do that. Grab her by the scruff of her neck and force her to finish up the clothes before letting her go to sleep. But this was exectly the wrong time to try something like that. We were not "playing" that evening. She was not being bratty. She was exhausted, out of it, and irritated. So, silently I folded up and put away my clothes, leaving hers on the bed and left. She needed to get sleep, she needed a husband, she needed no more conflict that evening. I gave it to her.

This morning, she apologized for her behavior. Not as slave, but as wife. She explained why, and I accepted her apology, not as Master but as husband. As a partner living and spending my life with another partner. Could I have "punished" her? Yeah. I didn't. That would feel more like abuse than punishment. Real world issues happen, those don't and shouldn't translate over into play. Even smacking her ass this morning was not an option for me. I was still a bit rankled by her actions, even though I understood it and accepted her apology, my ego still was smarting. Laying hands on her in an aggressive way would be feeding the wrong emotions. I would be doing things for the wrong reasons. So vanilla happened instead.

Maid Service

Maid:
I was raised by a strict familly that forced me to wash and clean, both rooms and dishes and laundry.
By the age of twelve I started doing my own laundry never to be doted on again.

I have a discerning eye and you will not be able to take shortcuts in your cleaning in my house. The dishes will be inspected, the corners of the floors will be scrutinized, the baseboards will be checked for dust, and the inside window sills will be checked.
I like to set my cleaner to a time limit for each task.
If it were you, I would instruct you to work on vacumming the living room floor, perhaps in only your panties, or a maids uniform, but you would be given 6 minutes to complete that task, before moving on to the next.
When done I will examine your finished task, while I have you stand in the corner, eyes down, showing the proper respect to the Master of the House, and will either reward you for a task done well, or punish you for missing a spot. Then we would move on to the next task.

Everything has it's place and I will expect you to learn them in short order. All beds must be made each morning, and all clothing picked up off the floor, sorted and organized for laundry. We have more clothes that we do drawers for all of them so it is your task to think creatively and come up with a solution so that I do not see clothing laying around.

Once I am comfortable with your ability to keep My House clean I will start to add more responsibilities to your workload. Intimate tasks will be rewarded to you as you earn them. At first you will be honored with greeting your Master every evening when I arrive home at the front door, kneeling, and ready to kiss my shoes and beg to undress your Master from his work suit, taking loving care to hang up his garments in the closet, and launder any soiled clothing he might have. After that is done you will ask permission from Master if you might ask to undress Knottygirl and putt her work attire away. When the level of trust has been earned, other rewards will come. Bathing me will be warm, wet, soft and soothing.

Play time comes when I want it. Sometimes I will torture you by taking Knottygirl, while you are tied, hand and foot, kneeling in the corner unable to speak, unable to move, only forced to watch and ponder why I torture you this way. The reason of course is because I choose to. You are to of course, accept this. I will bring you into the bed with Knottygirl on occassion to have you serve me alongside Knottygirl. There will be times when I will focus on you, not Knottygirl, and play your body like a fine tuned instrument, giving you pain as well as pleasure.

Knottygirl, will hold a station higher than you in the household. Although she is my slave, she is given permission to be your Mistress as well. She too will task you with jobs and services that you are expected to perform.

So? Do you think you are up to the task?