Renegotiations

The other week I picked up on a tone within Knottygirl's voice and a familiar redundant saying that she had been repeating a lot recently: "It isn't really my choice now, is it."
Glowing the the total dominance and Mastery of myself the words started to seem a bit hollow. Following my intuition, yes even us guys have that!, I asked her about it.

Well what followed was an exercising of her emotions as she crumbled into tears about the loss of all control in the relationship. What was working for me, was certainly not for her. Over time she had felt like all of her options were stripped from her, until her only choices were either stay and continue to suffer, or leave.

She pointed out that the pain I had been inflicting on her was becoming more and more drastic and she now was genuinely scared of me. She had also begun to loose respect for me. Shocked, I went to bed unsure where our relationship would be headed. I was upset that she was so upset and wasn't getting the pleasure out of this as I was. We both didn't know where we would go from there.

The next morning, with some introspection and distance from the emotions on both sides we worked out a "step back" from where we had been. I loosened up the restrictions. We talked. We renogotiated. I asked her what she liked and didn't like. What she wanted. What I wanted.

As it turns out, instead of scuttling the entire lifestyle, we did a "course correction". I don't feel like the big bad Master has wimped out. Rather I feel like the Master who tries to be attuned with his slave, listening to her song and making corrections as needed. One thing is for sure, I'm more interested in a slave that serves because of her love and devotion to me, rather than hr fear of me.

So far I have seen a big difference in her attitude. Cheerful and flirty, she is once again enjoying her Master, enjoying herself, and enjoying her role in our relationship. I am as well!