Formality?

Knottygirl is recovering fine from her piercings. She is diligently cleaning them morning and evening. Though she still needs heavy painkillers, thanks to the fact that we keep painkillers from other maladies on hand for times like this, I am enthusiastic about her recovery. Personally I thought I would have to stay away from her for a couple of weeks, but the act of getting them pierced for my pleasure and the looks of lust within my eyes as I examine her constantly hard nipples, has made her reconsider! I'm very happy that she did the deed, but more so, I'm happy that she's happy about doing it.

Things have progressed back into the scene for us lately, culminating with the piercing and it leads me to think as to what happens next? Each Master is different, each sub is as well. I've been happy with the progression this year, we've far surpassed where I thought we would be and although we have been busy, that spark in her eyes when I push her and she replies "Yes, Master" reinforces that she hasn't tired of this.

I've read a fabulous story the past week, called "Tired of being a nice guy" that had me absolutely riveted. The characters came alive and a simple story a couple exploring a new lifestyle turned into an epic page-turner(ok screen-scroller!) that left me still thinking about those characters. The question that has crept into my perverted little head of late is slave accepting ceremony. Call it a collaring ceremony, a marking ceremony, whatever, the question bouncing around in my warped mind is do we want one, what does that imply, do we need one, is it too soon? Ok so multiple questions, but a lot tend to bounce around in my head at any given nano-second of time.

The piercing was a momentous moment. Knottygirl waffled between no interest in getting one to wanting one, to no way was he ever getting one, to if Master wants, etc., etc., etc. With the support of friends she went out and got it. She had her reasons, and I'm glad she did it for herself as well as for me, however I do regret a bit that I wasn't there for her when she did it. In the one sense, this was a step for her to really show her friends that our relationship has changed, they are the only ones who know of our blogs and that she has confided in. They supported her and I think she's gained some strength from that.

It got me to thinking whether the two of us need to celebrate a milestone in this relationship dynamic. On the one hand it would cement the relationship, a kind of "no turning back" type of milestone, a commitment to each other to "own" and "be owned". But haven't we already done that with our wedding vows almost ten years ago? And that's what has me thinking. In a few months we will be celebrating our ten year anniversary. That is a milestone.

Now is that something outside of this D/s scene we are enjoying? Would rolling a collaring ceremony cheapen our wedding anniversary? Would it conflict? Or is it a logical progression of our relationship? To me, we are playing. We use the word slave and Master when we remember and when we are turned on. We also use other terms for each other and treat each other like equals. That's ok. I always told her that this would not be something that I would use to get her to do the dishes and scrub the floors.

So am I a true Master? Is Knottygirl a true slave? Again it’s what we make of it. Your definition of Master is different from mine. I find myself questioning if our use of the term is still acceptable between each other.

There are times where I still wait for her to initiate sex. There are times when I want it but don’t initiate it. Then there are times when I do and she might not be into it, but complies, accepting it by saying “Whatever Master wants, or Master can do as he pleases.” Those are times when she is not too into it, but when I check with her to see if she’s ok or into it, she responds like so. In her mind, has she already made that sacrifice? Am I so dense that I’m questioning “ownership” when she has already given it to me? If that’s the case then perhaps I’m not pushing her as much as she wants, or needs?

There is talk, just talk right now of a more permanent mark on her. We have continued the sharpie art for sometime, with her more than willing to take my mark. The piercings has been the most drastic, and I wonder if she will take a tattoo for me…

So I ask again. Has the ceremony been performed and I just haven’t taken things far enough to push her? Or should a discussion of a ceremony be brought up?